Just to See His Face.....

The only thing I wanted was to see his face......I didn't care how many fingers and toes he had, the color of his hair or whom he most resembled....I just wanted our eyes to meet.......somehow then I would know his soul and he, mine........there would be a familiarity between us, an inherent ability to become transparently aware of our identities, one to the other.....

Even now....I often just need to see his face to know if he is truly alright. If things are truly going well......

His face has always told me everything ....every truth I need to know about it him.....I am sure it always will.....

I miss him.....I miss everything about him.....I wish I could just see his face......

Oregon Bound.....

My firstborn crosses my threshold tomorrow morning, not incoming but Oregon bound. 

Back to school..... I miss him already.

He has begun packing and there are many boxes, empty hangers and there will soon be an empty bed.......

No matter how old they are or where in the world they venture, my heart can't help but ache at the thought of not seeing them everyday....A text or a phone call doesn't always reveal what is going on inside them..... Even Skype can mellow their true spirit.....I have always said "I just need to see their face, then I will truly know if they are ok".......

I guess this will always remain true no matter how the time passes....

Today I will savor the last few hours with my firstborn, sharing the excitement with him as he explores his new world.....even if it doesn't include me.....

I will praise God for this amazing being he has gifted to my heart and wear my gratitude with fervor.....

Thanks be to God......

May you continue to keep him close in your arms and knit his heart just beneath Your own, beating life, grace, mercy and love......

My firstborn with his preschool teacher!!!

It's all about the car.......

Today was a day all about the car.....

When I purchased this car it was completely about necessity rather than style, comfort or design.

I picked the color and the DVD player for the kids and therefore my own sanity as I parade them to and from daily activities.....

Fast forward 8 years since the purchase of my current vehicle....the "tire guy" says its time to look at something new...... Apparently my car's days are numbered....

So the question is now, do I trade it in now while it still has some value or wait until it completely goes "kaput"???

I am so not a good car shopper.  My husband won't let me go near a car lot until I am exactly sure about what I want and even then i do not have permission to speak.....

You see, I'm not much of a wheeler and dealer...I'm not a hard sell......I'm not good at the game of bartering.....

         

I need to get something affordable, something that will endure for many years and get incredible gas mileage.....I'm thinking a Hybrid but some of them are pricey and don't get much better mileage than a small car....

I take for granted how much I rely on my automobile.....

How often I get in it, without thinking, fully expecting it to take me to my destination unconditionally....

It was indeed all about my car today, but I am taking a moment to be grateful for the ability to own a car, healthy enough to drive it and blessed enough to have small, familiar hitchhikers in the back seat depending on me to take them anywhere......

I am automotively thankful.......

Officially....."Permitted"..........

This is my sophomore.....

He is now an official "permitted" driver!!!!!

He is unhinged with delight......

I have come undone in terror.......

I am sending out an all points bulletin to everyone on the road, especially in a 100 mile radius of this treasure.....

PLEASE DRIVE SAFELY!!!!!!!

This young man has my whole heart with him.....

Please proceed cautiously!!!!!!!!

New School Year's Eve..........

Today is officially the last day of summer for my final child.

Tomorrow, my baby, will be in 7th grade...

Yikes....

Even though this summer hardly brought us slow days, I will miss days minus homework, special projects, and morning drama...I will miss having all my children home, my dinner table filled with  all the people I love most in the world and all my children's unmade beds...

My firstborn will leave in a few days for his sophomore year...

My heart aches already thinking about our home without him in it...

without walking by him in the hallway, having him come in our room to tell us he is home, finding his guitar picks in my dryer and the house filled with the sounds of him.......He is our musician, but he also fills our home and our hearts with song without a single musical note......

He alone is our music.....

He is our song....

As we begin to immerse ourselves back into academia, i pray for hearts for knowledge....

I pray that we continue to find a successful balance between studies, family and faith......

I pray that we continue to strive for excellence, always,  and never to forget, in the midst of the difficulties we WILL have creating that balance, that we are loved....

That there is a higher purpose for the stewardship of these gifts we juggle....

That we are called to use these gifts for the highest purpose....

Happy New School Year!!!!!