I am fixed on them as though they are a door to a deeper understanding of what's inside.......if I could just see behind them and penetrate every cell that makes them whole.....I want to understand......
I was the first thing she saw that day she presented herself to the world......With a five month long labor in my heart, praying, dreaming, hoping she would arrive safely in my arms to stay.....
I placed myself at her birth-mothers feet, literally and physically, awaiting her entrance......this women of grace, gifting me this child, her child, to love forever......I was in awe of her mercy.........Of this gift....
Her eyes were wide open as she revealed herself......beautiful and tiny, yet so mighty, she took my heart right from my chest and planted hers inside it in that very instant........
In the wee hours of that morning, moments after she took her first breath, she was in my arms......She was quiet and so very curious.......she had so many questions.......
Those eyes that I look into everyday, still so beautiful, still trying to reason and understand all the complexities of the world......I want to solve them for her.....I would if I could......I keep trying......
I continue to be fixed on her......to understand......to help......
I am her greatest hope and so, her greatest frustration.......I am her guide into this contradicting, confusing world........I stumble and fall along the trail at times, and like a centipede, she stumbles behind me, frustrated with my lack of ability......I am too......
But I bring myself upright, once again, and she follows.......trusting me again and again, to lead her, to guide her, to understand her......I am in awe of her trust and I am thankful........
I have no idea of what lies ahead, for her or for me.......There are no maps to guide us.......the terrain ahead is unknown........
But I navigate with everything that is in me......with God as my guide and a heart full of love for her, that is my legend......
My truth.....
My destination.......
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