Progress.....it's a Funny Thing.........

Progress.......it's a funny thing......

Progress, despite personal fulfillment, is forward moving......It's positive motion towards beneficial health and wellness with the eventual outcome leading to inner happiness....

Isn't it?........Or am I wrong?.........

Don't we have to sometimes live in an uncomfortable state to reap the benefits of progress?......

Doesn't the "progress" of forward moving discomfort meant to teach us to live in adversity?  To survive in undesirable conditions no matter how unsatisfying it may be to our own personal human gratification?........

When we decide we can no longer live there, does it mean we are weak? Selfish? Narcissistic? Certainly we are human and sinful, but what does it take to find the courage and willful drive to live in that uncomfortable space, FOR NOW, not forever.........JUST FOR NOW........and patiently await what we find on the other side?........

Why do we insist on needing to gratify ourselves at whatever cost......to our health, our safety, our relationships, our loved ones?..........

Why isn't our promise to each other more important than our human desires?  Why isn't our word, our self-respect, our integrity most important?  Why is disappointing people you love, breaking your promise to them, less important than our own desires?

What is even more confusing is when progress is misread, misinterpreted.......When you trust the process of progress........and sometimes, when you trust the words of someone you deeply love.....

You believe their promise, their words.......They are moving forward, they are doing the uncomfortable work, they are making progress.....

Perhaps progress is abstract......perhaps progress is objective.....Perhaps one person's progress is another persons prison......Perhaps progress cannot be obtainable within the bounds that we define it....Perhaps progress must be left for God to map, to navigate, to define......Perhaps the progress of one will be the at the cost of others......Perhaps progress may not include safety, health or wellness.....Perhaps God must allow ramifications to light the paths of others......

I am processing at the moment.......these are streams of trying to understand.......Please God, help me understand this!......Give me the strength and patience to trust you in this space I find myself in......

My heart hurts, my being aches for answers, my soul prays for healing.......