Meet Our Rockstar........

Our Brody......

In the beginning, I thought our hearts were completely taken by him because he was our first and only pony........I thought we adored him so much because of the joy he brought to my daughter.......I loved him so much because he was the best therapist she has ever had..........

But, in the almost 2 years we have had the honor to call him ours, I have come to realize that there is something quite unique about him, other than our own "Brody" covered glasses.......

Today, as we drove to the barn, I received an email requesting to borrow him for an IEA show.........

Two hours later, while we were untacking him, a high schoolish age girl walked over to us and said "I'm obsessed with your horse"............

I know.......

He exudes an inner strength that radiates from his eyes, his soul........He looks at you as though he understands your inner most emotions......You know, the ones you are masking from the outside world.......the ones you hope nobody sees........He sees them and he understands them........

He exhibits, undoubtedly, unmatchable strength and power.......The power to really hurt or even kill, if he so chose...........Yet it's not the power to control but the power to protect that he wears so regally........like a prince or a knight........

He is a rockstar at our barn..........He is admired and loved and we hear "Ooohhhhhs" and "Aaaaawwwwws" almost everytime we are there at his side.........

This 1,000 pound animal has been a miracle for us, for my daughter and I cannot imagine where we would be without him......

He is the most gentle animal I may have ever known......He loves to be kissed, to be softly caressed on his face and when you brush him he leans on you like a dog.........He makes us laugh and giggle at his funny antics........He loves to get inside the water trough and splash us.........He is feisty when he is hungry.......He will only go No. 1 in his own stall, no where else........(No. 2 happens anywhere)........his favorite treats are bananas.........and he wipes his mouth, often, because he is a distinguished, extremely clean, gentleman........

For all the these things, I am so thankful to be on his receiving end, my daughters receiving end.....

And Brody and I have a quiet moment, each time, before he and my daughter ride.........

After he is under saddle, and his bit is comfortably in his mouth.........As I fasten his noseband and throat latch, his cheek to mine, I whisper quietly "Brody, take care of my girl today, O.K.?".......and I can see in his eyes that he understands my heart-filled request.......and even more so, I know he will fulfill it........

This is why I love him the most...........

And why I am so blessed and so very grateful to be called his friend.......

The Gifts of Time...........

And time passes........

Dragging on, step by step, sometimes like trudging through knee deep snow.....uphill.....

And sometimes the hands of time are always one step ahead, the pace impossibly exhausting......

Sometimes, as strange as it sounds, it evens feels like both of those, simultaneously......

But there is work being done......

I see Him here, His loving hand, stirring, leading and grasping us forward, closer to Him......

I see healing, some physical healing, but to be honest, I have prayed for much more.......

but I wait, I do try, patiently, trusting Him, believing in His love and His promises......

I see other kinds of healing, too........in a family's desperate longing to have a child........in a child's answered prayer for her fathers clean diagnosis.......in the extension of kindness in strangers.......in an unexpected text from my husband........in my son's goodnight hug......In a friends embrace........when my daughter allows me to hold her hand, a little longer than usual.......

In the simple gifts of time......unpredictable moments........with my children, my Mom, an old friend, a brand new friend, our very old Sadie, our very precious old Brody.......in our home, on a walk, in a window of unexpected conversation, in new devotions, in the questions about my church home......

He's here, I have never doubted He would be.......And I still have so many questions like why? and when?...........but I know that time, is not something that I can fathom......the gift of it, I mean........

The beauty of it, the space of it, it's boundaries and vastness.......the opportunity to breathe it in, to feel in it, to love in it.....

That's the treasure of life........

Just to be here, for one more moment, inhaling every ounce of it.........in the deepest, caverns of our lungs.....

And in the exhale, those long seconds of release, there are a few moments of quiet space and clarity, with the hope that there will be the gift of more breath, more time and more love.....

And I try to remember to take moments, intentional breath, feeling the immense love of God in these gifts of time, no matter what they bring or how they pass.......

He is here, holding us in His precious hands, in every priceless one.......

A Healthy Dose of Helplessness......

It seems I am getting my share of this lately........

Today my Mom is in the hospital.....she hasnt been breathing well for a long while, but even worse recently.....

The doctors are doing more testing and scans to see what the current status and stage of her cancer......

She told me recently she has been praying for God to take her........she has stopped praying for healing long ago.....

My Dad is so very sad and so very tired.....not of taking care of her just of all the ups and downs and disappointments.......He must feel frustrated and helpless.....

My sons quest for healing continues.......we are working with a new doctor who we are excited about and who has given us hope........but its very early with this new doctor.......

So here i sit and pray and write about the things i cannot do for these people i love.......i feel like im on a Sit-n-Spin,  using l my strength to turn the wheel but not moving anywhere. Only going round n round, faster and faster. Sometimes feeling exhausted and dizzy but making absolutely no impact......

And as I spin I am reminded to just stop. That i must let God do His work, and yes.......there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix or heal either one.......

The only thing i can do is be still and love them........

Its so much easier to busy myself and keep spinning on the wheel, round n round........round n round.......trying to convince myself that if I just keep going, use all my strength, if i could just go faster.........

Round n round......

Round n round.......

But deep inside, i know better.......

I have to stop, take my hands off the wheel, put them together and pray!

 

Deep Cleaning.........

It's a "post holidays" deep clean today.........

All my cubs are back at that "school" thing this week........

Decorations have been put away........

And the house is, mostly, back in pre-holiday order...........

But today I decided to attack some long over-due deep cleaning.......

My mind is starting to feel more orderly.........

Looking forward to a, so far, quiet weekend and more opportunity to get some other projects checked off the list........

If only the rest of my life was that easy........

Happy Thursday.........

New Year....New Devotional.........

This new year, I have committed to a new bible study/devotional......... 

I cannot meet with a small group at this particular time in life,  so I searched to find something to help inspire and encourage me to bury my head in a book........

In THE book........

And I don't have any relationship with this person or blog or any agenda other than to share something that, I believe, has worth or value........

I am really drawn to it so far and can't wait to open the web page or get the email I subscribed to, the moment I have have my breakfast in hand........

It's called She Reads Truth and you can find it HERE

I am encouraged and renewed.........

See if it speaks to you..........

Healing Counsel...........

My Word for 2014........

Healing Counsel............

"Yes" you answer, "but you have two words, not one".......

I know.......

I have made plenty of resolutions in my 48 new years, which I am sure were undoubtedly sabotaged soon after they were made.....

And I have chosen many areas of focus as the the Calendar, once again, reads January........to lose weight, to spend more time with my husband, to be more budget conscious, to serve more, etc.......... 

But this year I am trying to focus on a word, a mantra of sorts, a title to my madness......And I could not think of one word that best describes what I want to focus on this year..........

So......there's two..........perhaps unorthodox for resolutions, but there it is.....two words........

I pray for healing counsel:

For my Mom who prays for a final resolution to the disease and medications that have ravaged her aching body.....and robbed her of the life and hope she thought she would have.....

For my son.......to help him remember the love that he was created, conceived and loved in his entire life........to help him remember the gift that he is to God and to his family.......because love can heal all things.......God's gracious love, that is......and if he will allow that love to live inside him, every decision that he makes will stem from that peaceful place of truth and light......

And for the rest of our family, immediate and extended, I pray for healing counsel for us all as we move forward this year towards Him........towards His service and His teachings........

I pray that we open our hearts wide to whatever and wherever that healing counsel takes us........

Welcome 2014...........

And may we all find the counsel that heals us.............

The Big Reveal!..............

Today is the day of Epiphany ..............

The day we commemorate God revealing Baby Jesus to the Magi..............

What a gift, indeed!............

Today, I will try and breathe in the love and wonder of that moment.......The beautiful babe, new in His Mother's arms, fresh from God............

Mary Did You Know, the song, is on repeat in my head the past two days.......Did she have any idea that this dear son, her son, God's son, would save us all? ......That He would carry us on His shoulders?.......That He would sacrifice scoffing, slander, mocking, beating and a treacherous death for my life and for yours?............

To her, He was also just her precious child.........A child that grew inside her, that moved and kicked and somersaulted with life.......a being that she laboriously birthed into that dark, cold, lonely stable..........a baby that captured her heart the moment she placed him to her breast........

May we all "know" today, how very much we are loved by this baby and our heavely Father........

May we breathe in that love as it reveals itself to us in the smallest of moments, gestures, and the subtle quietness of this beautiful day!!!!!!!!

My Baby Boy........

......and he's off........Back to school.........and I miss him so terribly......

It feels so unnatural to watch this beautiful boy, whom I prayed for my whole life, walk out the door to his "other" home, his school-home, a state away from my arms........

He completes our family in a way I cannot explain.......I mean, we do o.k. while he is away, but we function so much better when he is here, with us, at home.........

And I see him, my beautiful boy, becoming an amazing man, right before my eyes..........Yes, he has grown so very tall, but he has grown in so many unexplainable ways, too.........It's something I can see in his eyes.......He has learned to endure, to face challenges, to bear responsibility, to nurture, to protect, to discern judgement, to be accountable and to love.........

And every time I see him, he is more my beautiful man than my beautiful boy........but make no mistake, he will always be my beautiful boy..........

And I am so completely full of thanks and gratefulness for the gift of him.........

And my heart and my love go with him, wherever he is.........

Always........

Welcome 2014.....Year of New Happiness........

"I've got a good feeling about this year" says my husband..............

We are both blessed beyond what we deserve, and somehow feel completely wiped out and beaten-down by our thirteenth year in the twenty first century.........

By the grace and mercy of God we have all been safe, most of us moderately healthy, and clothed, fed and a roof overhead, as they say.....whomever "they" are........

Financially speaking, we didnt fair much better than recent years........it is still uphill peddling.......and we are so tired......so very tired.......

But, we have not lost our determination, our hope, our drive for purpose and optimism.........

We are still standing and so thankful for the blessings in just that........so thankful that we are still here, in this amazing, beautiful place we call home........

And, as each year passes, we become more and more grateful for each day we open our eyes and feel God's grace surrounding us, driving us and carrying us forward........

So, I know not, whether this year will be a "good" one or even a year much different than the recent.......

But here is what I know for sure.......that it feels good just to be here, to be safe, to be with my family, altogether.......anywhere my God is.........

And He........is EVERYWHERE!

And that.....is without a doubt.......a "good" year!

I wish you and yours a New Year filled with everyday blessings........"goodness" in the small things.........

love in all things..........