Today my Mom is in the hospital.....she hasnt been breathing well for a long while, but even worse recently.....
The doctors are doing more testing and scans to see what the current status and stage of her cancer......
She told me recently she has been praying for God to take her........she has stopped praying for healing long ago.....
My Dad is so very sad and so very tired.....not of taking care of her just of all the ups and downs and disappointments.......He must feel frustrated and helpless.....
My sons quest for healing continues.......we are working with a new doctor who we are excited about and who has given us hope........but its very early with this new doctor.......
So here i sit and pray and write about the things i cannot do for these people i love.......i feel like im on a Sit-n-Spin, using l my strength to turn the wheel but not moving anywhere. Only going round n round, faster and faster. Sometimes feeling exhausted and dizzy but making absolutely no impact......
And as I spin I am reminded to just stop. That i must let God do His work, and yes.......there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix or heal either one.......
The only thing i can do is be still and love them........
Its so much easier to busy myself and keep spinning on the wheel, round n round........round n round.......trying to convince myself that if I just keep going, use all my strength, if i could just go faster.........
Round n round......
Round n round.......
But deep inside, i know better.......
I have to stop, take my hands off the wheel, put them together and pray!
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